Can you answer a hypothetical question?

crap in the bag using the trench coat for cover, suck on the life savers and spit the red fluid on the turd and place a few pieces of metal from the watch and insert them at random intervals. find a seat with a kind looking person and say "I have an intestinal problem and my phone is dead"(show phone here)"and if I don't sit down I could die"(show Turd-bag to person) and they should give you the seat. or you could stuff the turd-bag under the trench coat and slowly inch toward a seat.